Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize
