He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I can't put those talents on a resume
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
