I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
It's no shave November. This is our time.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
