you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
