I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
