He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
