Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
