I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
