what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
