shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
