There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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