I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
