it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
