I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
