I just pynch a tree in the face
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
