one two three fourrrrnication!
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You should frame my arrest warrant.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
