i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
