I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You were trust falling into bushes
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
