umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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