I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
