I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
