Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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