She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
50% drunk capacity currently
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
