Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
