I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
