oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
We're too hungover to prance.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
