Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
