when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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