Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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