You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize