lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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