her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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