coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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