tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
