you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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