ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
