Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
