honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize