do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
