want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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