Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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