I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
