Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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