I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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