a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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