remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
