just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
