We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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