would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
