Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
