i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
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