Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
