I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
