weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
