the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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