East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
