who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize