This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
