i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Randomize
