You're so nebulous sometimes
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
