marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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