Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The beers last night were like the tears from god
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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