Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
