i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
