yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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