Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
