Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize